boner.

As an awkward, emotionally repressed and all-round-dead-inside terminally single mid 20's woman I don't give much thought to marriage beyond 'who would be awesome dumb enough to get hitched to me for a green card?'

I guess back in the day not many women had the luxury of avoiding relationships at all costs and so they had to marry whatever dog-dick showed them interest and had the most money.

We all know women hate fun, too, so in ye olden days, even pre-prohibition, they tried to ban coffee. According to this article in the Guardian, the "Women's Petition Against Coffee of 1674 claimed all-male coffee houses were responsible for "a very sensible Decay of that Old English Vigour..." by promoting "the excessive use of that Newfangled, Abominable, Heathenish liquor called Coffee, which . . . has so Eunucht our Husbands and Crippled our more kind gallants they come from it with nothing moist but their snotty noses, nothing stiffe but their Joints..."

All this talk of eunuchs and moist noses has got me a bit flustered.

In addition to this, apparently Nietzsche didn't drink coffee. That bums me out, I am a big fan of his. However, considering he died of syphilis, his abstinence from the trve kvlt black magic bean obvs didn't do him much good. Voltaire apparently drank 60 cups a DAY. I call bullshit BUT I did once drink 12 shots of espresso in an evening while listening to the entire Burzum discography. I think I transcended this world for a little while and then my head exploded.

According to the dudes of the time, coffee "makes the erection more Vigorous, the Ejaculation more full, adds spiritualescency to the Sperme". Awesome. If I ever have a boyfriend again (LOL) I'm gonna make sure he's Herbie Fully Loaded on that shit.

Lastly; "The appropriate analogy is that coffee and philosophy go together like foreplay and sex...you can have one without the other, but the latter is better with the former and the former often leads to the latter."

Frankly I'd be happy to get any combination of either side of that analogy but beggars can't be choosers so I'll stick with Foucault and a flat white.

It's the little things.

It's been a rough few days what with one thing and another. I feel very lucky to be able to spend time with some extraordinary people who give me perspective on my own life. Unfortunately, it's difficult to see past your own problems and emotions sometimes.

This morning I did my first proper piece of foam art. It's nothing special but I feel like it's another step in terms of my potential barista skills.

Small achievements are very important.

Just to remind you that I am still a scummy little punk I did lick the residual foam out of the mug and milk jug; (a) no dignity (b) I am not wasting good Bonsoy! shit's expensive.

P.S I gave up on coffee week. Wouldn't you if faced with endless Costa coffee?

Small Batch Coffee Co.

I read about this place in the Food & Drink guide (whatever, we get it at work) and my boss said I should go try it out. Obviously I always do what I'm told so off I went on another little adventure to Hove.

This place is TINY. There's a coffee bar, window seating and some seats out front. Out back is the roastery, which was there long before they added the storefront. Not much to look at really and it's in a very residential neighborhood right by Hove station. As I was perusing the beans the owner came out to help me choose a bag. First he asked if I was Australian based on my accent - this is like, the 4th or 5th time an Australian has asked if I am Australian. I seriously don't get it. I know my accent is a little weird but really?

I digress. He was very friendly and helpful and we chatted a little about business and beans. I bought a flat white and didn't have enough cash so he let me off which was pretty cool of him.

The coffee was ok. I'd go back to try a black coffee to see what that's like. They used the cheap shitty soy milk which probably was what ruined it for me. I feel like I am on a personal crusade to educate people about soy milk. Is that or is that not one of the most pathetic things you have ever read? Do I care? Zero fucks given.

Gotta uphold the reputation of snobby, awkward, demanding vegans worldwide.

I've been brewing with the beans at home and they're pretty good! Chocolaty with a berry undertone. I don't wanna write this place off based on one mediocre coffee because supporting local businesses is important, especially in a town that's getting more and more generic.

I sat in the sun and enjoyed an article about teenage alcoholism, smug in my xvx bubble of irritating superiority.

UKCW day #3

Shitty day. Don't care. I have no energy to put up pretenses. Sometimes I have to fill my time with pointless, directionless errands just so I don't sit at home listening to Unknown Pleasures in the dark like a total fucking cliche.

Had to go into work to sign off on something so I got an iced caramel soy latte from one of the participating stores. Tasted like sugar water. If I hadn't seen her add the espresso I'd swear it had never seen coffee.

Tried another proper latte at home inbetween mailorder and practicing chords.

It was good. Microfoam spoiled by that bubble. Drank it too quickly. I'd blame it for my insomnia but that would be unfair. Tonight I must rely on codeine and will-power...easier said than done. I am so tired of this bullshit but never quite tired enough to sleep.

Over and out.

this is a Bonsoy appreciation post.

that's all.