Small Batch Coffee Co.

I read about this place in the Food & Drink guide (whatever, we get it at work) and my boss said I should go try it out. Obviously I always do what I'm told so off I went on another little adventure to Hove.

This place is TINY. There's a coffee bar, window seating and some seats out front. Out back is the roastery, which was there long before they added the storefront. Not much to look at really and it's in a very residential neighborhood right by Hove station. As I was perusing the beans the owner came out to help me choose a bag. First he asked if I was Australian based on my accent - this is like, the 4th or 5th time an Australian has asked if I am Australian. I seriously don't get it. I know my accent is a little weird but really?

I digress. He was very friendly and helpful and we chatted a little about business and beans. I bought a flat white and didn't have enough cash so he let me off which was pretty cool of him.

The coffee was ok. I'd go back to try a black coffee to see what that's like. They used the cheap shitty soy milk which probably was what ruined it for me. I feel like I am on a personal crusade to educate people about soy milk. Is that or is that not one of the most pathetic things you have ever read? Do I care? Zero fucks given.

Gotta uphold the reputation of snobby, awkward, demanding vegans worldwide.

I've been brewing with the beans at home and they're pretty good! Chocolaty with a berry undertone. I don't wanna write this place off based on one mediocre coffee because supporting local businesses is important, especially in a town that's getting more and more generic.

I sat in the sun and enjoyed an article about teenage alcoholism, smug in my xvx bubble of irritating superiority.

9 Bar Cafe, Hove

On the days I don't go to the gym I like to try and walk a bunch otherwise I feel gross for not exercising. I have started working out a lot to try and help with my anger as well as looking after myself more, in conjunction with my new found nutrition obsession which includes freaking people out with green smoothies.

It was also the nicest day in ages and walking along the beach was, for once, quite a pleasure. I feel like a day which involves listening to Law of the Rope and catching some winter rays (no fear of tanning) is not a bad one.

I can't stop internally lol-ing at the name and only about 20 of my friends would find it funny. Nine Bar were (are?*) a UKHC band who were pretty big in the early/mid 00's. From that mental association alone I decided to give it a shot. I was very pleasantly surprised. The coffee was excellent. I got a double shot soy latte which was pleasingly small, as it should be, and tasted excellent. Good milk (not Bonsoy but not the cheap shit) and a very good espresso base.

I will definitely go back there. Reminded me of Red Roaster a bit so maybe they brew with RR beans. I think some people assume Hove is a bit shit because it's famously where you move when you're ready to settle down and stop partying so much. Brighton is super studenty and also full of 'alternative' douchbags who dress in clothes from Cybergoth or entirely in hemp (brb vomiting) and Hove is more like... yummy mummies to the extreme and delis and all that shit. It has some really nice places to hang out though including 9 Bar and is far less overwhelmingly try-hard cool than Brighton.

*I just googled them and they have a new song on their myspace if you're interested...

Taylor Street Baristas, Brighton

TSB, TSB how do I love thee, let me count the ways. When I first moved back I was going in every day which is a little excessive. The baristas who work here are very, very lovely and I've had several informative conversations about coffee with one girl in particular. I like the actual shop a lot too - it's minimalist without being clinical but nowhere near as Brightonified as Marwood (ugh). I think everyone who works there is Kiwi or Aussie...I actually got mistaken for an Australian at one point which is a first. I tried not to be offended...lol jk Australians are great.

Went in with Alice, my best and most cherished friend, for her blog induction before I went to my German lesson. One 3 shot soy flat white and one 4 shot long black later and I was definitely revved up for Deutsche...my tutor possibly thinks I smoke crack now.

The coffee at TSB is always good. I like consistency; it leaves no room for failure, which my life has enough of. Today I wanted to try a pour-over but they didn't have any of the beans they use for those/aeropress. TSB uses Union beans as well as sourcing from other locations and they have 4 or 5 blends to try which is pretty cool.

This is Alice's notebook. She's really into k-pop, as are two more friends of mine Bunny and Jess (bunnybissoux.blogspot.com and nunasknowbest.blogspot.com). Frankly the whole situation confuses me but then again, my current playlist revolves mainly around In Utero-era Nirvana, 80s straight edge hardcore and this amazing band called Milk Music so what the fuck do I know. Anyway, even a philistine like myself can recognize that k-pop x Misfits is pretty great.

Finally - no children or prams today, just a man who's left hand looked like it was rotting. Made a hasty exit for fear of catching leprosy.

Ground, Brighton

I have walked past this place 54897684976 times and never wanted to go inside because it was always so FUCKING BUSY AND FULL OF PEOPLE WITH PRAMS. I don't hide the fact that I believe children should neither be seen nor heard until they are of an age that they can provide something worthwhile to society in any way, even if it's serving me in the video rental store. Infants and toddlers creep me the fuck out and yet are drawn towards me, like fat fleshy moths toward a cold, black flame.

Anyway, Stevie and I go to TSB all the time in our day to day travels so for a coffee date we figured it was a good idea to try somewhere new. 3pm on a Friday meant Ground was pretty quiet and there were zero children, so 1pt right there.

I have had the pleasure of knowing Stevie for a good many years, from the heady days of our punk youths in West Berkshire to shared time living in Brighton. I love that I am still such good friends with so many great people from like, 8 or 9 years ago still. He and I share a healthy misanthropy and general distrust of humanity and life in general as well as a good cup of joe.

The flat white was very good. No Bonsoy but the milk had been textured well and they hit the 'sweet spot' (technical term, google it, I'm lazy). Stevie had an aeropress which he said was ok, we both then had a long black which was agreed to be excellent. Gave me the jitters which is unusual and I take as a good sign. Baristas were cute and friendly, shop is not THAT small and has a back room but there was a creepy old man sat there...can't really allow that to reflect on my rating, though.

Will visit again if the lack of children can be guaranteed in advance.

Cafe Coho

My mum was in town to hang out with my brother and I which was pretty nice as we don't all get to hang out that often. In between a trip to UO (lol we all bought something) and the noodle bar we grabbed coffee at this place. It's next to Marwood which I HATE because it embodies everything awful about Brighton (fake try hard art student/hippie/useless sack of shit artwork and bad coffee masquerading as quality - calling something a flat white doesn't make it a flat white. They often burn their espresso, too).

Anyway, it's a pretty nice looking shop, clean and minimalist inside. Reminded me of Blue Bottle in Williamsburg a little (only aesthetically, sadly, the coffee was good but not THAT good).

They used a different fern in my coffee so it didn't get confused with the cows milk flat whites which I thought was a cute way of making sure there were no mix-ups. Staff were almost over-friendly and very eager to please. Place was dead, I'd go back again to use wifi and try their long blacks. My bro clocked that they use a Gaggia #fuckyeah.

In short: fuck Marwood forever. If I was really gross I'd shit on their doorstep as a sort of dirty protest (people do this outside the movie theater I work at sometimes, kind of weird). If you're in the south Laines then definitely go here.

Red Roaster, Brighton

Going back a really fucking long time now: when I was living in my first house in Brighton (6 years ago, woof), a friend of one of my roommates from Australia came to crash on our couch for a while. He was called Kirk and was/is a totally awesome guy, I haven't spoken to him in years which sucks. He started working at Red Roaster as a barista and this was my first introduction to foam art - people used to come in and take photos of his coffees. I really didn't give much of a shit cuz I didn't drink coffee back then (what a fool) but it gave me a fond connection to RR.

I went in after I got back from Chicago last and thought the coffee had gone downhill. Maybe I was just spoiled on 6 weeks of Intelligentsia? Pretty weak sauce though.

Now my blood does not run Black Cat anymore (woe) but the coffee at RR has improved drastically recently. I put it down to reintroducing Bonsoy, I swear blind that a good espresso based is ruined by shitty soymilk. I bitched about it to my dad and he told me I should just let these places know so maybe it's time to grow a pair and take my loud-mouthed snobbery public.

I usually get a 3 shot soy latte (no flat whites) on the walk back from the gym as a treat. It's too busy and loud to sit in and full of people with fucking prams and babies and Kemptown freaks. Everyone that works there is really nice though despite the fact the place is always packed out. Also my friend Tash works there AND they run a loyalty card service which is A+

Marwood

Ship St, Brighton

k Brighton, I get it. Honestly I do. I know your ways. You're so cool and cute and edgy and fun. You have the vegetarian shoe shop and a milkshake store and American Apparel and the most expensive Oxfam IN THE WORLD and everyone is white, middle class and too educated to get a useful job. Marwood is like...it's like a classier student union coffee shop. They sell 'fancy' ramen/Pot Noodle and call the extra 30p for soymilk a 'tax' and the walls have dumpstered 'art' on them.

 




But part of my mission is to try different things (ugh, make it stop) so I took my brothers there for coffee.

The 'barista' (let's be honest here, he hadn't earned that title) announced as we ordered that it was his last day so he didn't give a fuck. Great, awesome, please don't jerk off into my coffee, I will probably catch 5 million diseases. I got a flat white with soy.

 

Like really...really...what is that? I appreciate the effort but Tom gets a Nightmare Before Christmas-esque deviantArt heart and I get what my friend Eric later described as a 'white dwarf'. Perhaps it was interpretative foam art - I am definitely white and while not technically a dwarf, I am quite short.

It was ok coffee. Will not be going back. The fake cat was funny for five minutes but that sort of novelty will not win me over, Marwood.

Redwood Coffee

Trafalgar Street, Brighton

Another new-ish shop by the sea. One downside of moving back there from London is that there are only really a few good places compared to the capital city. Taylor St is great but I am worried that they will think I am mental if I go in every day and start recognizing when I've had a haircut or compliment me on my new shoes. Actually that would make them more mental than me.

Redwood is biiiig and pretty cute/kitschy as you'd expect from being spitting distance from the Laines. Mostly Kiwi baristas and they play that godfuckingawful trippy chillout hip hop. It is cheap though (no Bonsoy but they don't charge any extra for soymilk) and last time I got a 3 shot soy flat white for the same price as a regular...pretty sure the barista was high as fuck though and I am not basing that on the fact he had dreadlocks as fucking TODDLERS have dreadlocks in Brighton. Fuck my life, this is why I don't go outside unless totally necessary, the world is actually disgusting.

The foam art seen here is a Monet-esque reinterpretation of a fern. I seriously think everyone who works there is high, you know those photos of when a spider weaves a web after it's been smoked out? >>>>>>>>>>

Taylor Street Baristas, Brighton

l-r: macchiato with soy, 16oz latte with soy

I lived in Brighton for 5 years as a non-coffee drinker (dark, dark days) and now, on the (metaphorical) eve of my reintegration there is this little beacon of light on the gross street by the station. Aussie/Kiwi run antipodean style coffee made with BONFUCKINGSOY aka greatest soymilk for the dairy-free coffee snob. I will pay the 60p ($1) extra with a shit eating grin on my face because it is so good.

First time I went I got the above order. Macchiato was ok, not the best I have had but still very good. The latte was a mistake, but mine not theirs. I can't deal with that milk-to-coffee ratio anymore.

Now I get a 'double' (four) shot flat white with bonsoy. Hasn't failed me yet. Only peeve is that they don't serve 'large' (16oz) coffees in ceramic cups, only takeout cups. So do what every other decent coffee shop does and don't go above 12oz, simple. Smaller is better (that's not what she said).

Downside: due to location, it's usually full of Brighton yummy mummies and daddies with screaming whelps who think they shit gold because they've mastered the fine art of procreation.

4 shot flat white (fallen down a bit, and they always put the lid on before serving, guys it makes your foam art look shit, jfyi)